Money’s tight right now. Like REAL tight. And there’s this one opportunity that I have that could make money SO not a factor. The problem is that the “opportunity” is on my list of “things I never ever wanna do.”

I’ve been invited…..to move back in with my parents.

A thought that makes me well up in tears. Sure, I’d be off the ol’ futon if I moved back home (though I’m not sure what they think I WOULD be sleeping on since Baby Sis took over my bed….) but I’d lose SO much more. No more having Long Board over, no more staying out without an explanation of where I am, who I’m with, and when I’ll be home, no more doing what I want – when I want it and not worrying about how quickly I clean up the mess I made.

And if you read that last paragraph and are tweaking your eyebrows wondering how old I am – I’m twenty six. And yes, I would be expected to basically follow a curfew, account for my whereabouts at all times, and not have boys over. Like ever.

And the thing is, I lived with these rules until I was twenty five – and they didn’t REALLY bother me. But I just can’t go back….it would be me backtracking my progress as a person! And I’m not willing to do that.

But when I have this conversation with my Mother? She doesn’t hear any of that. Her response?

“Do you really hate us THAT much? Do I make your life THAT miserable that you’d rather live like you do now??”

Because it’s not about me. It’s not about the fact that I’ve grown so much as a person these last two years.

No, it’s about my Mom.

I tell her over and over and over again that she and Dad are great. That they don’t do anything wrong. That they are wonderful, awesome, amazing parents and that I was lucky to have twenty five years living with them. But that I need to be on my own. For me.

She doesn’t believe me.

***********

My Mom doesn’t know about Long Board.

Yes, it’s been nearly three months. Yes, he practically moves into my apartment for a short term residence every couple of weeks. Yes, I went on an eight day vacation with him. And no, my Mom has no clue.

I’m slowly letting some people of my family know. Baby Sis was the first to know…especially since she had to help me cover with that whole vacation business! Ram and Bronco now know – their wives too….and soon, very soon, my Mom will know.

I made a conscious decision to keep LB away from my family for a bit. My family is great but they’re……intense. And large. And nosy. Do you know the look you get when you tell a guy you’re dating that you have four older brothers? It’s a mix of horror, shock, intrigue, fear, and a very measly attempt to look happy about it like you’ve always wanted to be grilled by a girl’s four big brothers.

At to that, a Mother that wants every detail imagineable and it’s a little overwhelming!

But they’re all going to meet him in two weeks. As in my Mom, Dad, Ram and wife, and Bronco and wife (he’s meeting Baby Sis THIS weekend) will all meet LB when I bring him as my date to an event my sister is organizing. I wanna vomit, while LB is excited to meet the fam.

But Mom’s going to be upset that she didn’t even know he existed. So I’m going to have to tell her. Soon.

We’ve had this conversation in hypotheticals before. I’ve often joked that the family is allowed to meet a guy of mine once we’re engaged. There are times I think that I’m only half joking. I’ve explained to Mom (and Dad and all the siblings) my reasons. But Mom? What does she hear?

“Are we THAT horrible? Are you SO ashamed of us that you won’t let us meet him???”

Ugh! I’m not ashamed Mom!! I don’t want to introduce you to some guy that might not be around in another week. I don’t want to have to answer questions from literally thirteen (or more) IMMEDIATE family members about what happened to the guy. I don’t want to have to live that out in front of y’all! I’d like to ease him into meeting our family (which I realize is an epic fail in the current plan….but oh well!) Let’s make sure he likes ME before he starts to like all of you!

But she walks away pouting.

***********

I think Long Board is a little irritated that my parents don’t know about him.

I know he was irritated that no one knew about him, but I’ve since informed him about my siblings that do know, and how excited they are to meet him. He’s excited back.

I don’t know how to explain to him that I don’t bring anyone home. That I don’t tell my parents about anyone. That the fact that they’ll know of him very soon and furthermore that a meeting is on our calendar is HUGE! I don’t know if he realizes that.

And let’s be fair – I don’t know if his siblings know about me! (Okay, I take that back, one does, because he sent a video to his neice and he put me on it for a split second – so I know his sis saw that….) But I certainly don’t know that his parents know I exist! He’s had phone conversations with both his Mom and Dad while he was at my place and he never mentioned me, so I don’t know….

***********

But I do know that his Aunt knows about me….and so I’ll leave you with one of my favorite LB stories:

On our drive to New Mexico LB got a call. He had just hooked up his fancy shmancy phone device so that he can answer calls through his radio. SO, the phone rings and he answers it and we can all hear the call (me, LB, and Trike – the third wheel – are in the car). It’s a woman on the other line – a woman that at this point I don’t know is a relative. She invites him up to the cabin for the weekend (!) and he declines saying he’s going to New Mexico but that he’s bummed because he’d LOVE to go.

Never the jealous one, this doesn’t interest me at all.

Okay, I’m not the jealous type – but maybe it DID interest me just a little….

Going on – they talk about something else and then she says, “So – how did that date go?”

Uh, excuse me? What date? We’ve been together two months so this has definitely piqued my interest! His eyes get huge and for a minute I think my heart stops beating as he’s about to be outed by this woman.

She goes on: “The last time I saw you, you were heading up to go on a date with some girl in…..LA? Or was it (insert the name of my specific tiny little city here)?”

I breathe a huge sigh of relief and laugh as I realize she’s talking about our first date – but LB looks no more comfortable than he did a moment ago.

“Uh, she’s actually in the car right now listening to this.”

His Aunt says, “Well then I guess it went pretty well, huh?”

He looks over at me, smiles and says, “Yeah, it went pretty well.”