Heather@ PNR provides us with this prompt, our fourth installment of the OA Roundtable: I thought it would be a nice exercise for us, both to record a memory for ourselves and to give others a glimpse into our families’ open adoptions. So our fourth assignment is to write about a small moment that open adoption made possible. It might be about something that happened during an interaction or conversation if you have face-to-face contact. Or a moment centered on a letter or picture, if you don’t. Just a single, small moment that could not have happened if the adoption were not open.

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I’m not a Mom in the traditional sense of the word. I don’t wake up to the sound of Cupcake crying from a nightmare and soothe her back to sleep by rubbing her back and singing to her. I don’t put band-aids on her knees when one of her more courageous activities proves a bit too much for her still 2 1/2 year old body. I don’t bake her a birthday cake each year and teach her how to blow out the candles.

But there are some “Mom” things that don’t just disappear because you’re not Everyday Mom. Things like being terrified for your child. Worrying about your child. Being protective of your child. And yes, the instinct to brag incessantly about your child.

Thankfully, my Motherly urge to brag about my child is completely possible – because I know these amazingly wonderful little things about her. Through occasional updates I have bragged about her being quite musical, and a natural dancer. I’ve bragged about her long legs and every time I hear that she has a new tooth. I’ve bragged about her love for “reading.” And of course, as soon as I get an email from Dee with the newest picture? Well, I’m “that Mom” in those moments – sure that everyone I know wants to hear the latest tale about how stunning and wonderful Cupcake is.

Moreover, through my own two eyes I’ve seen how amazing she is. How fearless she can be. How gentle. How kind. How adorable. How SMART! How on our third visit we were playing with blocks and spelled out her name (granted, a very short name) and she spent the rest of the day telling everyone she could how to spell her name. How on our second visit she was so very fearless on the swings and was a natural at making friends with other children on the playground. How on our first visit, she was just this beautiful little girl that had no idea how special and amazing she is.

Each of those visits, each of those days this evidence of how wonderful she is. Something that all Moms feel about their kids, no doubt. And something that open adoption allows me not only to feel, but gives me everything I need to back it up.

So while I realize this isn’t the “one” little moment that I was supposed to write about, it’s really about the one little Mom priviledge that I get to live every day, whenever I need to. So when I’m grieving about not being there for her in the middle of the night, or when she’s hurt, or about not baking her the perfect pink cake, I know that I can at least celebrate all that she is and all that she does, by bragging Mama-style to my friends.

It’s one little thing, this one ounce of Mom “normalcy” in a situation that often feels anything but, that just means so much.